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alanna [userpic]


January 4th, 2007 (03:30 pm)

as it turns out, today is my last day in memphis. give me a call or show up at my house if you want to see me.
i am full of misery because i still have to enroll in one more class before school starts next week. nothing seems to be working out right. ughhhhhhhhhh melting.

alanna [userpic]

we were two till we melted down

December 5th, 2006 (01:00 am)

current mood: exhausted
current song: diane cluck - easy to be around

this may be my long-time-coming post after a long time period of absence from this journal. hi, folks. there is so much to say i don't even know how to start.
over fall break (oct 16ish) rachel cut my hair with kiddie fiskars in the bathtub and mallory dyed it. i dyed hers a little too. it was just like painting, except on hair. and then we painted on my space suit. it was a wonderful break. but i was horribly burnt out when it was all overwith.
that weekend was our first TRASH TRASH TRASH show. you can see 60 whole photos of it here but i don't know if you want to. it was pretty fun, but we played at a big venue with dissimilar bands. i think the people who came to see us liked us... but we're going to be so much more amazing some day. i was proud of us, though, and was particularly pleased that brandon and i each had footage to play on separate TVs. images that haunt us from the surrounding modern world. trash, telephone wires, weeds forcing themselves up through cracks in the sidewalk, electricity. some beauty and some terror. totally unedited raw stuff. however, my camera has been half broken for months, and although it still records and everything, i haven't touched it for weeks. i have had no time to film or edit or watch footage.
this brings me to the topic of school. i'm unbelievably frustrated with college right now. it's not just because it's the last week of classes (AHHHH STRESS!) or because there's a lot of work. i feel like i'm putting almost all of my energy into school and just not getting that much out of it. i go to pretty much all the classes, i do the readings, i study, and my grades are alright. but there is some sort of a disconnection somewhere. i can't put my finger on it. i'm still self-teaching a lot more than i thought i would be doing after high school. i am learning in a couple of my classes (sociology), but some of this stuff is just bullshit or it's not worth taking classes about. i don't know what to do. i want to finish college but right now i'm so freaking frustrated it's ridiculous. mom says, "you're supposed to be frustrated." thanks, mom.
halloween was rather revealing. tom and i went trick-or-treating in our neighborhood, which is uptown new orleans. people sit out on their porches with a giant bucket of candy at their feet and a beer and/or wine glass in their hand and say, "take what you want! happy halloween!" but most people didn't even seem to be home, most likely out at halloween parties and bars. this is a city of excess and alcohol. i sort of knew, but i was astounded on this night. but i got loads of candy, which i am still subsisting on when i am feeling peckish. so then we saw a free Fay Wray show at the neutral ground coffee house. i finally met brian f---- whose name i don't want to put here because i don't want him to read this, but he is a really cool new orleans music scene guy who does tons of promoting (his website is amazing) as well as selling of music, books, and zines at all kinds of events. he asked me for some halloween candy and tried to convince me to buy stuff. but i was trick or treating so of course i had no money. however, ever since this incident, he remembers me every time he sees me at a show and punches my knuckles or whatever since i am so awesome. and i've taken to buying stuff from him... tonight he convinced me to buy an album called "new ocean waves" by your heart breaks, who i had never heard of, and i actually like it a lot. i also got the book evasion about being homeless, unemployed, and (apparently) marvelously happy via dumpster diving and whatnot. and last weekend i got a very cool 2007 planner which is just full of amazing facts and pictures. anyway, brian is a cool guy. and basically, i want to be him.
i do not want a real job. oh lord. is it really necessary? i don't think so. i am looking forward to reading this book. although rachel said she is worried to read it because it will make her want to drop out of school. it's not that we don't want degrees.... but man, this process. the whole system is getting lamer.
i have been to memphis twice since i left at the end of summer. both times were wonderful. it felt so amazing to come home, like i could be totally comfortable and be myself the whole time. morgan and eileen's play was hilarious and brilliant, and i am so glad that i got to see it (twice). i'm also glad that i got to be in town for morgan's 17th birthday weekend... i can't believe it. we are getting so old.
the number of amazing shows i have been to is getting ridiculous. recently, i've seen Be Your Own PET, The Slits, Matt & Kim, and Mount Eerie.

i am going to sleep. i have class at 9:30 and it is 1am. tonight was my only free night all week. the rest is going to be hell. two papers down, two to go..... 15 pages at the least. and loads of research. wish me luck. i am going to finish this post. i swear.

alanna [userpic]

(no subject)

October 13th, 2006 (03:22 pm)


alanna [userpic]

i never realized i had such a crooked mouth

October 13th, 2006 (01:12 pm)

current location: new orleans, la
current mood: goofy
current song: library sounds

today, it is truly autumn! the first day i have had to wear a jacket outside. the weather underground tells me that it's 64 degrees outside, so the heat should be coming on in my room soon. woowoo! i am not usually excited about cold weather, but i was in need of some change, and this seems to be a good thing. i am in a wonderful mood so far today. work flew by this morning, and i have shakespeare class in 15 minutes which i know will NOT fly by, but it's a short class nonetheless. we're reading "richard ii" right now. the first act was kind of confusing, actually. i'm kind of sad that we are already done with the comedies. histories don't sound like too much fun. and i have to reread "julius caesar" which i'm not excited about at all. oh well. at 4pm we have BAND PRACTICE where i'm hoping we'll play our asses off until we sound amazing and ready for the show NEXT WEEK. joe can't be there today, which really saddens me, because i don't think he's going to be able to play with us at the show unless he can practice with us tomorrow by some miracle. joooo what happened. come back and sing your bass to us again. ohhh. other than that, it should be a very good practice. tomorrow night i will be in baton rouge for the alias and tarsier show. hooray! i think it will be very different from the anticon shows i've seen before, and i'm really looking forward to it. magical things will happen. maybe even whiskey, if this weekend goes according to plan.
the other night i was looking for something on my old blog and i ended up reading quite a lot of ancient entries. there are some things i really miss about high school. but not actually high school. it's weird to think about that time, with reference to now. things are so different. wow. i can't even begin to wrap my head around it.
i feel like i should have more to say, but i really don't. i suppose i will go to class a few minutes early. i hope everyone is having a wonderful FRIDAY THE 13TH OF OCTOBER and that you have an amazing weekend planned. fall break, bitches! yes!!!

alanna [userpic]

don't let your time pass you by

October 8th, 2006 (10:14 pm)

current location: new orleans, la
current mood: listless
current song: wooden wand - eagle claw

but it has. it's been forever since i posted, and i had no idea. perhaps that's a good thing? everything has been running crazy like my life is in a race. i don't think i'm winning. i haven't been in a very good mood today. i've been trying really hard to stay on top of everything at the same time that i try to stay happy and do good things, but it seems to get exceedingly difficult. i'm putting a lot of effort into things that might not be working out as well as i'd hope. i'm going to keep trying, because the payoff will be amazing if it comes around, but i'm getting very discouraged. some items:
last weekend TRASH TRASH TRASH was scheduled to practice on saturday as usual, but we got an offer from some loyola music biz majors to RECORD A DEMO. we were totally psyched because we needed a demo to enter ourselves into the LSU battle of the bands. we were supposed to practice at 3:30 and then go into the studio at 5. brandon, warren, tom, and i spent the day eating bagels and exploring vast trash landscapes, where maybe we will one day take some promo photos and shoot a music video. despite the glorious day, the evening quickly turned sour and, for various reasons that don't really need to be detailed, we didn't get to record or practice at all. i fell apart. leroy said, "you're supposed to be our stoic leader." i still don't know what he meant by that, but apparently i'm not doing a very good job of it. this weekend the band was supposed to practice on friday and saturday because we have our first, very important show coming up in TWO WEEKS, but we only got to practice on friday and it was only for a couple hours. things for TRASH TRASH TRASH are somehow going great and horribly at the same time. we got on the bill for a HUGE show (the crowd may be over 400 people!!!) at a really important venue, The Howlin' Wolf, and we're opening for two really big new orleans acts, Impulss and Soul Rebels Brass Band. however, it's two weeks away and we can't even get the whole band in a room together. our show with Fay Wray got cancelled for november 18 because the Shiloh closed down, but we're now playing with Impulss at the Dragon's Den that night instead, and Fay Wray is trying to rebook our show. we entered the LSU battle of the bands with our crappy myspace recordings, and it would be amazing to play, but it's doubtful that we'll get in. we're also definitely going to play a show at One Eyed Jack's in the upcoming months, which is AMAZING because it is such an important venue that a lot of great people have played at, including gravy train!!!!. our space suits arrived in the mail and we can't wait to decorate them. on the flip side, worst of all, we lost our practice space at fontainebleau and are now a homeless band again. i'm incredibly distressed, despite all the good parts. everything is coming together so nicely for us as an act, but as a band, we aren't coming together at all. i miss the cohesiveness of SV. but i suppose with an eight-piece, absolutely crazy ass band, we'll never be on the same level as that. but i'm still going crazy. a few people can't carry everyone's weight.
so i guess it's been a while since i last posted. since then, i have started a political party. i really encourage everyone to join. please look at our website, let us know how you feel about it, if you find anything objectionable, and also feel free to send some art to crayonsnotbombs@gmailcom. we will be so happy. right now there are about ten official members, but there are a lot more who have talked about joining or whose info we don't have yet. so please please do yourself a favor and get in there. in my opinion, it's really marvelous and i'm very excited about what we're doing. although apparently no one else is. well. one day... we'll see.
people are nuts. i really miss having girl friends. last semester i didn't notice this hole so much as i do now, partly because i came down here directly after a semester of solitude in memphis. i suppose it's sort of ironic that it's a year later, and now all i want is more alone time, to do what i want with. which is ALL i had when i was at CBU. stuff is funny. but yeah, girls. i get to see rita about once a week and it's really great when we actually get to hang out, but usually we're doing music stuff, and that's not a purely friendly relationship, so it isn't really the same. i haven't seen mallory or rachel since may. kate rafferty feeds me wine and gives me donuts, but she's not usually around and i just don't know her that well. girls, be friends with me! i miss you!
at work, i recently mailed books to hendrix college and the winter park, florida library. shout out to my bitches! our library really is an amazing place. we recently mailed a book called "on garbage" and i can't wait till it comes back so that i can read it. i have so much to read, it is ridiculous. and my school reading is getting less interesting than it was at the beginning of the semester, so i'm a little sad. emile durkheim is nowhere near as cool as karl marx, and aristotle's "metaphysics" is mostly bullshit so far. i prefer thales. i want to die by falling into a pit while looking at the stars with some wench. yes, yes. what a life.
on friday night, tom, brandon, and i trekked to baton rouge to see Subtle at the Spanish Moon. we were worried that we'd be late, after a delayed and lengthened band practice, but we were not. we sat outside and set things on fire. as in april, the band was fucking amazing. doseone turns their stage show into performance art as well as music, and his interaction with the audience and props on stage is fascinating. "what's black and white, and red all over? the middle class." plastic forks absolutely everywhere. i really recommend trying to see them some time if you can. also, we bought doseone's new solo album "Ha" and it is, of course, great. he is my hero.
i gave up on editing footage together for the TRASH TRASH TRASH show and now i'm just doing what brandon is doing and filming stuff to directly show without having to go through the editing process. it's a pretty cool way to do things. we're filming really simple images, because it's going to be chaos on stage. somehow we have in our possession: two tv's to show videos on, a slide projector, a 16mm film projector, eight tyvek suits, and about ten orange traffic cones. we are acquiring more and more crap as the days go by, and we're getting more insane. at the same time that i want everyone to come to our show, as of right now i'm a little terrified about what it's actually going to be like. but above all things, hopefully it will be a mindfuck. and i think we can manage that much.
i'm finally starting to look at the Littlest Trip footage and i'm having a ball. i really haven't watched anything i filmed since it happened, so it's fun to discover all this randomness on tape. what a great trip that was. it feels like a dream, even when i'm watching it. i wish life could be that way all the time. maybe it can be, who knows. but you probably have to quit school. in the meantime, we can relive the glory days on youtube. well, there's not that much there right now, but i'm working on it. stuff!!!! all the time!
i am feeling really lame. god damn it.

alanna [userpic]

i can hold the key to heaven in my hand

September 20th, 2006 (11:27 pm)

current location: new orleans, la
current mood: wonderful
current song: valerie june - track 2 on the way of the weeping willow

oh oh oh! the world today. here is a little sign of life from me to you.

i work:
for the past week or so in the library, i've been updating addresses and group affiliations for libraries all over the place. it is nice to discover that there is a Manatee Community College, and also just to see the names of towns and colleges where my friends are. it's like being connected through a really strange string of separations. i'm done with that project now, but it was nice. and now i have time to do homework in there, which is probably good.

i go to school:
and i'm already behind in my readings. how did it happen? weekends really set me back. i caught up a lot today, by reading the entirety of "the merchant of venice." i'm studying communism in two classes right now, and it just keeps getting better. today we watched a documentary called "seeing red" that was quite good. trying to figure out the separation of ideas and things in metaphysics. film class is really very disappointing. i guess it wouldn't be so bad if i hadn't had such an AMAZING class last semester. on monday, tom and i went to the "sin city" screening and i just wanted to yawn or laugh at the whole horrible thing. that is a terrible movie. and at this very second i'm supposed to be writing a paper about it, and just can't make myself do it. the world is so much better than that! i know there is more to offer.

i go to shows:

most recently, i saw TV on the Radio at the republic. they were great, the audience was not. who the fuck moshes at an indie show? who crowdsurfs during slow love songs? i didn't know what to make of it. i couldn't tell if it was drunken new orleans scenesters or just drunk new orleans bar folk. but it was a very weird, mixed crowd. matt rodgers was there, who i love. although he crowdsurfed, which is dumb, but i got to hold him up, which is cool. at one point the people at the front of the crowd were being smashed against the stage because of the growing hell pit and i yelled "fuck you" to a random jumper. he kissed me on the head. i said "you're squishing people!" and he said "sorry!" and hopped away. people are so weird. it would have made more sense at a punk show. at any rate, the band was really cool. they have one song with a megaphone that made me want a megaphone. the guitarist's guitar was wearing chimes, and that was awesome. overall, it was a good show, despite feeling like hell when i got out of there. that was the smokiest club i've ever been in, i might say. it seemed like they were burning incense as well as a thousand cigarettes. a gross mixture. at any rate, tomorrow is THE BLOW which i am super excited about. there's lots more amazing shows coming up, including matt & kim, be your own PET, alias & tarsier and subtle. at this very second, brandon is in BR seeing terror of the sea, swan island, the gossip, and mika miko. i am sure there is brilliance in the room.

i trash:

our first show is scheduled! november 18 at the shiloh with fay wray, sounds like a revolution, and mark twain's magical moustache ride. it seems like way too far away. our stage show is going to be miraculous. our songs are coming along quite nicely. rita, tom, and i practiced last night and it was quite fun. it definitely helped this week go by faster. there's so much more to write, more to sing, more to play, yayayayayay!

i play:
a little while ago i was trying to write this "sin city" paper when tom called and asked me to borrow a blank cd. me in pajamas rode the elevator with a bunch of girls declaredly going to hip coffee shop zotts and college drunkard hang out the boot. tom and i were conversing from opposite sides of a fence when suddenly i noticed a VERY TINY LIZARD holding one of the links in this chain-link fence, fast asleep. in our attempt to hold him, we woke him up, causing him to leap all over the place before we finally got him. once got, he was quite content to just clutch my index finger and sleep. tom and i found at least four other lizards asleep the exact same way on this one fence. tom's lizard, raoul, was quite hyper and crawled all over him, while sleepy boy just held on to my hand, sometimes winking open one eye to see what the action was, or shifting around to get comfortable. a little lizard breathing is the most beautiful feeling for your finger. it was the happiest moment of my life.

NOW. should i write this fucking paper or what? i don't have TIME for this kind of bullshit! there's too much to do! i have so many things to edit, and i haven't gotten to even cut a clip since school started. projects: chop up and upload tour stuff to youtube, edit together TTT montage footage for our live show, and work on my fucking new orleans movie, which seems to get more complicated and insane every time i think about it. it used to seem so manageable. what happened? school! work! trash! all this mess!!! there is so so much to do and be, let's go.
...i give up on this paper. good night.

alanna [userpic]

fire up above me

September 17th, 2006 (07:09 pm)

current location: baton rouge, la
current mood: crazy
current song: TRASH TRASH TRASH - hash stash

yes, i do listen to my own band, thank you very much. and you should too, because we did some new recordings of "art hrs," "hash stash," and "tha stars r ars" on tom's tape recorder, and you can listen to them on our trashspace. there were only five people there, and we still sound like insanity. amazing. it's been noted on more than one occassion that our band is an INSTANT PARTY. eight people in a room, a mess of cheap wine and 40z, what could you expect? also, we just got asked by popular loyola band Fay Wray to play a show soon! good lord! it's happening.

alanna [userpic]


September 6th, 2006 (11:47 pm)

current location: new orleans, la
current mood: dorky
current song: the proletariat!

i'm trying to read the communist manifesto for class, but i just keep thinking about this:

god bless our own voice.

EDIT: finally finished at 1:15, and i must say, it was a good read.

alanna [userpic]

isn't this vertigo? isn't this wonderful?

September 6th, 2006 (04:00 pm)

current location: new orleans, la
current mood: peaceful
current song: kristin hersh - wonderful (live at paradise rock club)

so, yes. things seem to be going fairly well. i'm enjoying my classes, my job, and my room quite thoroughly. room pride.Collapse )
things are just going well, in general.
last night i had to take this political compass survey for my social protest movements class, and the results actually surprised me. our teacher said that people usually say that they're surprised, but i didn't think i would be. so. weird. you should try it out, let me know how it goes.
on saturday night we went to the japanther/this bike is a pipe bomb show in a house in the 9th ward. there were LOTS of punk kids (of varying breeds, shapes, and sizes) and it was a pretty amazing event. look how cute brandon is. so many punks!!! then we went to see rita and carolyn's band at the shiloh, and that was pretty fun. completely different atmosphere and music, but still a good time. then we watched the kids in the hall movie at warren's apartment, and i enjoyed it. movies are great.
on sunday night we stayed up all night playing apples to apples. we played the entire box. it was amazing.
damn it, i hate it when i haven't written a post in a while and i forget that i haven't said things that happen. i got a job in the (award-winning) library last monday in the interlibrary loan office, and it is great. tons of libraries ask us for tons of books and articles through the amazing internet, and it is my job to find those books in the library, check them out, and mail them. there's some running around and some computer work, and it's just fun. our library is so great and comfortable and i am very happy to be working there. and my schedule is great. and it doesn't pay much at all, but i don't really need a whole lot of money.
classes are great, and every day i think more seriously about switching my major to sociology. the two classes i'm in are pretty awesome. i'm interested in all the material, i'm excited about a lot of the readings, and the teachers are great. compare to my one english class this semester: last wednesday i nearly fell asleep in class. today i doodled the whole time and didn't pay any attention because it was horribly boring. it's shakespeare, which is great fun, and i am enjoying reading his plays, but the fucking class is just saying obvious stuff about the plays and i just want to die. the teacher is nice and all, but he's very boring and old. and his name is lala. judging solely on my classes so far, it seems really obvious that i should switch majors... we'll see.
my film class is kind of boring. i don't really like the movies we're watching, so that's very disappointing. they're all modern and hollywood and boring. but i like the teacher, so i think i'm going to go through with it. metaphysics is mostly good because tom has it too so we can make fun of pythagoras later. sometimes i like it and sometimes i just wonder what the hell is going on. but yesterday our teacher said "everything is constantly in flux, everything is constantly changing" and i knew that he was right, and that made me very happy. so here we go, moving along. i wish everyone the best of days.

alanna [userpic]


September 4th, 2006 (05:57 pm)

current location: new orleans, la
current mood: good
current song: muffled benatar

my suitemate is listening to pat benatar's "heartbreaker" and i can hear her singing along through the wall.